“I used to think I
needed all the answers
I used to need to know
that I was right
I used to be afraid of
things
I couldn't cover up in
black-and-white”
Thanks to the generosity
of an individual sponsor, for the past five weeks I have been able to
study courses at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
This represents part of my ongoing work toward getting a Master's in
Public Health there.
The experience exceeded my
expectations. Those at the School emphasize providing realistic
public health care in settings of conflict or development – things
that I feel complement my work in the hospital at Kudjip.
But for all I have learned
I feel that my perspective has been unique. As the eighty-plus
students around me take notes and the well-versed professors give
insight into challenges I have personally faced the past four years,
I am periodically drawn to look out the windows. My mind wanders
back to my exam room, the delivery unit or the TB ward at Kudjip. I
see clearly the faces of patients whose earthly burdens I've
witnessed. Many seem so far removed from the walls of my school that
my heart breaks – wondering how many have lost their earthly fights
in my absence.
I am a life-long learner
and I love black-and-white answers. Perhaps that is part of the
reason the Lord put me in Papua New Guinea. Things so rarely declare
themselves in black-and-white and the answers are even more complex.
Perhaps he needed me to let go of that mindset.
I believe my studies will
help me, and help those who come to Kudjip for care. More than that,
I believe they have shown me that, even surrounded by the high
ranking public health minds of academia, the most valuable
contribution I can make as we serve in PNG is to truly care for and
love those that put their trust in our hands. To consider how I can
go “upstream” and make bigger impacts, but never lose sight of
those individual faces.
“So I just want to look
a little more like love.”
-Ben Rector
